I Don’t Wanna Grow Up

"I Don't Wanna Grow Up" the great Tom Waits song from Bone Machine, a song about conforming and this made me ask myself have I grown up? hmmm l wonder. To start with l am well on the downslope to being fifty years old and l do ask myself, have l grown up? To begin with, when and ever did l actually grow up? I remember during my formative years at school, as each new term began l felt in essence that growing up had to be done in order to complete my year. This happened many times as each year progressed, then Bamboo! l found myself having left school and not having any more terms to endear, where was l to go from here? I reckon when l was seventeen or eighteen and had left school, I had my first job, it was also around this time that l entered the pub culture that made me first question if l had grown up. Now l was amongst grown up people talking about grown up things like getting mortgages, talking about pension schemes, happily no, this was not the case, it was full of foolishness and such like where laughing and messing about was the order of the day, nope l was not in the grown up world that's for sure. Many years have passed me by and of course people change, they grow old of being childish and set about settling down and having offspring of their own, but also revert to childhood tendencies to bond as they experience their children becoming grown ups. Other ways to finding out if I have matured are, l play in a band it's the thing that makes me question, have l grown up? I'm always up for larking about and laughing and having a good old time and all that malarkey but one thing that makes us all musicians feel grown up is the most grown up thing of all and that is MOANING, we all do it l know l do l can't help myself, it creeps up on you when you don't expect it, you feel yourself spurting out ummm well shit really. So here l am sitting on the fence (l blame this on my star-sign for being on the cusp) and undecided, if l have grown up, if l was pushed to finding a soloution, l probably have grown up as l know l possess more grumpiness than usual but that's a trait you have in your childhood, so you see my confusement oh l give up l am going to take this day by day and enjoy the moment as long as you can be happy and fulfilled does it really matter if you are grown up or not. Chris McDougall ( I Wonder If This Chap Has Grown-Up)